Leadership takes many forms, shapes, and sizes. We are typically introduced to leaders through political moments in history and these leaders range from Gandhi to Churchill. We could rank and re rank the thousands of leaders that have been brought up through history and identify the traits that were clearly identifiable on the surface; however, I argue, there are undeniable qualities that must be analyzed. I argue these qualities are ‘the piece(s)’ that make up a refined leader.
William Wrigley Jr., the founder of Wrigley Chewing Gum, once said, “when two people always agree, one of them is unnecessary.” The first quality of a refined leader is removing those ‘yes men’ that constantly agree. As a leader, we want our ego protected. Many times, obtaining a position of power or leadership took a substantial amount of time and effort and any ‘no’ or questioning of moves or ‘plays’ can appear to be a threat to that ‘top spot.’ A refined leader knows that they are not always right nor do they fear losing their ‘top spot.’ A refined leader surrounds them self with fellow leaders who present ideas different from theirs and humbly accept criticism, when needed.
Every leader is disappointed with a past blemish, error, mistake, or ‘sin.’ Many times, this past has a way of rearing its ugly head during our most prideful moments or when we least expect it. A refined leader is honest with them self, confronts their past, takes accountability and addresses those moments. With that said, a refined leader is also able to move forward from their past, after it has been transcribed. Refined leaders always look forward, refraining from the mistakes made in the past, and create a path of success for all their followers.
Growing up, we always hear about the golden rule. As a leader we have to do more than just ‘treating others as we would want to be treated.’ A refined leader’s ‘golden rule’ is something deeper. As a leader moves to the top of the food chain, they tend to forget every level below them as their sight is set forward, ahead, or towards the top. Leaders tend to delegate the most basic duties to others so they can pivot their attention on the complex tasks. A refined leader humbles them self and takes time to mop the floor, hand write and mail the letter, make dinner for a fellow follower, etc. etc. A refined leader remembers, the golden rule, is to treat the person below you as you would the person above you.
“Your words create a positive or negative reaction in the world around you…” (Vandersteen). There is no more of a stronger reaction than the one a leader elicits when their words effect their followers in a negative manner. Leaders cause wars with their words while refined leaders prevent wars with their thoughts. Refined leaders put their ego aside, listen, think, then speak and act. A refined leader acts in an ethical or moral manner, no matter the situation.
A leader is constantly making decisions and creating change. When change is occurring and when decisions are made, leaders have a choice to play chess or play checkers. A leader plays checkers while a refined leader plays chess. A leader looks day to day in order to ensure simple decisions are made and quick changes occur; however, a refined leader is always ‘3-4 moves ahead’ to ensure the complex decisions fully develop and large scale changes occur.
Every leader is confronted with a difficult decision. This is where a refined leader is separated from just a leader. A refined leader understands, the right decision is not always the most popular decision (i.e. the difficult decision). Refined leaders hear the voices, cancel the noise, and keep in mind the silent who may benefit the most from a specific decision. With that said, a refined leader is the voice for the voiceless.
Due to their position, a leader always has a target on them and, when the ‘knives’ are thrown, leaders can become emotional. A refined leader, never allows the knives to stick nor sink in. A refined leader does not take insults, negativity, etc. etc. personal. With that said, a refined leader’s decision or action is guided by reason and not emotion.
Lastly, a refined leader understands that their job is a calling. Before we can even determine what a calling entails, we must understand what a job is. A job is something we leave. A job is something we get paid to do. A job is something we are trained to do. Refined leaders shift the focus from monetary amount to the award that is received beyond their lifetime in the form of influence on others. Refined leaders ignore the job of leader and focus on the calling of leadership that is outside the realm of one’s existence.
References
Vandersteen Ph. D., R. Psych., S. (2014, September 2). “Think Before You Speak.” Glenora Registered Psychologists, https://glenora.net/think-before-you-speak/
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Matt Dolan
educator, leader, social entrepreneur, friend, human being, gamer, photographer, graphic designer, optimist